Rich Mullins - Calling Out Your Name

~lg

Thunder

Thunder rumbles me out of my bed
To stand at the windowpane, watching
Feeling the absence of the wind that signals the coming tempest,
The atmosphere’s vacuum, drawing me out of my skin and into the grey gathering clouds

Thunder rumbles and Arden looks to the window, wondering
Not afraid, just curious, looking to me to explain, to make safe
How do I wrap the words around thunder?
How do I tell her it is deep calling to deep,
All the ancient longings galloping over the plains to throw themselves off the cliff,
The shaking of everything that can be shaken,
The roll of the drums vibrating with a resonance that awakens the taut skins within
Till hearts skip beats to join in the dance of the Sky King?

Thunder rumbles and I wrap my arms around her
And we stand together at the window, waiting
I can never make it safe
Only make it welcome


~lg

"The Real Work"

by Wendell Berry

"It may be that when we no longer know what to do
we have come to our real work,
and that when we no longer know which way to go
we have come to our real journey.

The mind that is not baffled is not employed.
The impeded stream is the one that sings."


~lg

Letters to Arden - July 11, 2011

Dear Arden,

Will I remember these moments?

The way our noses touch after your bath, you all but hidden in a towel, soft skin, downy hair, bright eyes, our terry cloth cuddles.

The way your head falls on my shoulder, turning in toward the hollow of my neck on our way up the stairs, sharing our lullaby, your little smile and wave as you pull the blanket close.

The pure glee that escapes your lips as you step outside on Daddy’s shoulders, delighted by wind and trees and sea, arms outstretched to welcome it all.

A thousand little moments that take my breath away and replace it with something better – love.


~ mama

Hawk Tag

And then I see a little bird, sparrow or swallow I cannot tell, chasing a hawk through the great blue sky. My eyes are drawn up in amusement as the little one flits and darts, circling the powerful strokes of the bird of prey. Is it a game? Is it an argument? The little one dives straight for the hawk’s head and gets away with a playful peck, and the hawk gives her the eye – annoyance? bemusement? – and shifts his flight path. Still she follows, short wing bursts in contrast to the steady soaring, disappearing now behind the trees. I am laughing at nature’s joke, thankful to be lifted out of my valley into the mirth of the heavens.

I know I am but small, not used to thin air, but oh how I want to follow! Will you let me tag along? Will I ever grow wings big and strong? You turn your eye and laugh, tilt your head and turn into the breeze . . . but you take me into your current and the joke’s on me, for now I am rising on your wings.


~lg

a wing and a prayer

A surprise
Graced by the presence, magnificent,
of two bald eagles
Strength and beauty circling each other
in playful dignity over the river

Oh, for such a wingspan to take in the world, to embrace the globe's rippling breath, to see the straightest line between two points and yet take the scenic route

They call to each other, to me
Come up here
And I want to fly away

Where?
Deeper into this earthbound spirit-ache and then perhaps out the other side
...

level ground

Isaiah 40:3-5

You fill the valley of the lowly, shaping firm steps upward, raising the downcast up to where they can see the sun again. You are a swollen river, rushing, flooding, filling us with faith till we walk on water, walk on up this liquid escalator of joy.

You demolish the mountain of the proud, shaking the steps of the haughty till self-sufficiency crumbles in the quake. You are a sweeping torrent, rushing, a rapid wave that sweeps us over the falls and down to the exalted plain of humility.

Where the horizons meet, we see each other face to face, and there meet Grace. We are all on level ground.


~lg

Pilgrim Song (Psalm 121)

I look up into the crags as the storm approaches,
fearful of the slippery steps, aching feet weary already.
Will you help me over them?
Your ways are high, too high for us . . .

Yet as the wind blows fierce in my face,
I am reminded that you made the wind and the crags,
you made these feet.

If it all seems too much, I know you will build a strength in me I have never known.
The steeper the crag, the stronger my foot will be.

You, my Strength, are my Keeper
You will keep me on your path
Sheltering me from the driving rain
Creating moments of refuge beneath your wings

Your breath is at my back, and it is stronger than the gale.

And when I am weary and worn, I will sing
For your joy is my strength and your strength is my song

Your presence is a Pilgrim with me.


~lg

Radio

A grown man cries on the evening radio, reliving 9 year old horrors, and I want to turn it off, turn to a country station, anything. I am not used to this kind of emotion, springing from this kind of description. There is too much evil in the world, I think, scrubbing a pot fiercely in the kitchen sink. How we excel at breaking each other, building a junk pile of lives smashed to pieces so we can climb on top and play king of the hill.

I am grateful, so grateful, for my own safety, for the peace of my family, the security of our home. But the contrast is stark. How many mothers and children will die before they can ever wash the supper dishes without fear?

I stare across what seems a great divide. Do they resent me? Envy me? Pity me? I look into their eyes, willing my heart to leave a place open for them, even though all that rushes in may be a sense of helplessness. I will mourn with those who mourn, and leave the radio on.


~lg

Holymotion

God is motion

He is the heart that ever beats, the dance of three-in-one
The breath that creates, renews, recreates within his lungs
The mouth that forms the word that flings the light

He is the will that moves to send the Spirit to overshadow to put on flesh and blood

He is life laying down, over and over
Love lifted up on a cross
And in that eternal moment all things hold together

He is the hand that reaches out and draws us up through the wound in his side
Up through his veins and into the life of God
Into the circulation of Spirit, Son, Father

And in him we live and move and have our being


~lg

a word from the wild

There’s a wildness in God’s mercy
He is a fire, a storm, a flood
the roaring rapids that tear at your spirit
making your heart ache to be swept away
by thoughts higher, too high
by love deeper, too deep
by a current swifter than your stagnation
and stinking pools of complacency
He is the Spirit

Be of courage, quivering heart
Jump,
     jump,
         jump…
Don’t fight the river,
clinging to slippery rocks of false security
In the centre of the whirlpool
you will find the peace you crave


~lg

planting beauty

It’s not the way I usually would have done it

The apple tree sat waiting

In its plastic pot

Roots circling round and round

Without any room to breathe

I wanted ideal ground

But our “back 40” was less than so

Ground ridged by rocks and weeds

A pile of twisted rusty metal

neglected museum of days gone by

A heap of brush sprawled and sticky

like a shock of unkempt giant’s hair

A collection of broken glass, old medicine bottles

and the evidence of beer drunk in secret

A jumble of dirty plastic, torn and tattered

but never decomposing

I wanted to clear away all the ugliness first

Prepare a perfect environment for our darling sapling

A smooth lawn, a clear view, a clean start

But that was more than a few weeks’ worth of work away

I was almost loathe to do it

Behind the brush heap I pulled up weeds and grass

Collected more fragments of the last few decades

We dug a hole in the middle of it all

Sharp spade cutting into red clay

Filled it with rich, dark dirt harvested from the sea

And there

Surrounded by the brackish heaps

of our pioneer work in progress

We planted beauty

And there it blossoms even now

Unfurling roots and leaves, deep and high

Peeking over the giant’s mop top

Waving to the kitchen window

Happy only to be given a place

Yes, I will give up my stifling idealism

And give beauty a place to grow

~lg

Letters to Arden - May 6, 2010

Written eleven days before Arden's birth

Dear baby,

Today was the first warm rain of the season! I went out to run some errands in preparation for your arrival, just as the first gentle drops started to fall. There was a light, fresh breeze, mingling earth and sky in a delicious springy smell. You would have loved it! I can’t wait for you to experience the wonderful world and all its simple joys. The leaves should be out on the trees by the time you arrive. You’ll learn that green makes such a difference in the look of things.

We’re buying a new house just after you arrive too. It’s a big old house in Wheatley River. I’m excited for you because you’ll get to discover life beside a river. Rivers have their own music. So do oceans and streams . . . what fun we’ll have learning all their songs!

God has created such delightful things. If you look closely, you’ll be able to see glimpses of God’s face in the flowers, His nature in nature. He loves us so much! The best thing about living in the world is meeting its Creator. It’s only through Him that you will understand life and find fulfillment. He knows you already, more than I do or ever will. But I hope I will do a good job of introducing you to him, of helping you know Him as Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Jesus has made our humanity such a grace filled existence. I’m so thankful He has entrusted you to your Father and I. We love you already!


~lg

the hidden root

There was something growing in my heart
Almost hidden in a corner
It had been pruned and trimmed many times
But I secretly watered it
Its sharp and twisted roots took hold
Till I couldn’t imagine living without it

It imitated nobler plants
At times flowering with pleasing petals
But when I peeled back the bark
It was rotten at the core

And so when spring came
I took a walk with the Gardener
And he helped me understand
That it was not rooted in love
That it had never born fruit
That I must pull it out with my bare hands

And oh how it hurt
But I grabbed hold of that thorny stump
And pulled with all my might
I fought those stubborn roots with blood and tears
Till I felt his calloused hands close around mine
And with the strength of two thousand springs
We uprooted it

Now all that remains is a fragile plot of earth
Loose, broken, empty
Ready for something beautiful


~lg

momentary prayer

Today I don’t have time for a long conversation
Just moments when you are on my mind and in my breath
I open the windows and let your breezes blow in
Noting your beauty in the sun’s pattern on the floor
I scrub baby toes and musty cupboards
And this work is my worship
This peace in my heart is prayer
These are the moments of our communion


~lg